My breasts are not your stumbling block…

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My daughter just turned 18 months and she is still breastfeeding every day. She has been a champion nurser since day one but has never liked any restrictions. We never kept to a strict schedule or used a cover. Eye contact, physical touch and the freedom to nurse on demand have all been important to our nursing relationship.

In general I have had an incredibly positive nursing experience. Very little push back from family or friends and only a few instances of creeps trying to sneak a peak. The most negativity has come from the internet. People enjoy the shield the internet provides them and use it to show that it isn’t just their personal view that breastfeeding is wrong, but also the biblical stance… well I am here to explain that my breasts are not your stumbling block.

The meme at the top of the post was presented to me in my Facebook news feed from the site “old world order” this page promotes a bigoted oppressing view towards women breastfeeding their children, citing the bible as validation. Their post to accompany the meme is as follows:

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This point of view is not new or uncommon, I have heard it many times. It is, however, one of the finest examples of victim blaming I have ever seen. You see the OP is suggesting a woman hide her child away in the bathroom or cover their head with a blanket, not for their safety but to protect men from feeling lust. According to this believer the bible tells us that men are incapable of controlling themselves when breasts are around. That no matter if they are being flaunted in a sexual way or being used to feed a child they are a danger to society because they will cause a man to stumble.  So let’s think about that for a minute. What person in their right mind could imagine a world where a woman that is victimized by a man is the one at fault for simply preforming beautiful and natural act of nourishing her child. That is disgusting and does not represent the type of society that I want to live in. If I have to raise a daughter in a world where she is blamed for mans inability to control himself, I will have a lot of work ahead of me to make sure she is protected.  I know what the casual believer is probably thinking right now… “This person is the minority, they don’t represent a true Christian view”  but the OP was not the only one involved. There were thousands of responses praising these words. Here are a few examples…

If you check out the screen shots you will see statements that, because men have eyes and thoughts they are wired to stray from their master’s plan… whether they want to or not… and that because women know this they should be good Christians and cover up as to not cause men to stumble. According to the responses that I read it doesn’t matter if a man should be having these types of thoughts, it matters that I am causing it by feeding my child. The majority of the people responding to this were women, and they were more than willing to agree that they are the ones who have the responsibility to cover themselves… I can do nothing but shake my head at that level of brainwashing.

This type of mindset leads us further down the path of rape culture. Taking all accountability away from men (or other predators) and telling the woman she is at fault. People who don’t bat an eye at nude models on magazine covers are going to tell a nursing mother that she is contributing to the downfall of man. If someone harasses me as I feed my child I am asking for it. By making the choice to expose my breast so my child may eat I am saying “I am okay with any abuse you wish to put forth unto me” WRONG! Wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels. If your husband is the type of person who thinks it right to objectify, harass and (God forbid) assault someone because their breasts provoked them and you agree that the woman is at fault… may the justice system punish you and your God have mercy on your soul… because there is a special place in hell for those who inflict abuse.

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When I nurse my child I do so because it is what she needs from me. Whether she is looking for nourishment or simply needs to soothe in an unfamiliar environment- I am there for her, just as any good mother would be. It isn’t a chance to flaunt my body, it isn’t about making people uncomfortable, it is about the bond of mother and child. I will not force my child into a bathroom, a closet, or cover her head in shame… no, her first memories of us as a team will be filled with strength, comfort and love.  If you should stumble because of this, you deserve the wounds of the fall.

If you say you support breastfeeding, even public, so long as the mother is covered… then you do not support breastfeeding. No where in the bible does it discuss what type of cover Mary used with Jesus. We have to assume that everyone, with the exception of Adam and Eve, were breastfed as formula was not invented until 1865. This would mean that thousands and thousands of God worshiping women went around disrespecting God and their husbands for the selfish purpose of keeping their babies alive… how terrible is that? Actually it isn’t terrible at all, it is wonderful and it is EXACTLY what any rational person would do. You can say that was then and this is now. That in 2016 we have no reason to not hide our bodies- but why should we? Even if you do believe in God, i’d hope that when your baby is hungry you will feed them- whether that be at an uncovered breast or a non-kosher formula, you are going to do what needs to be done to feed that child, and to that I say “Well done!”.

So if my breasts are the stumbling block that pushes you or your husband into a world of lust and deceit, I think you need to reevaluate your own issues. I will not break the bond I have formed with my baby just to accommodate the sick twisted mind of someone who cannot control themselves. If you are unable to separate sex from parenting, this is an issue best examined by a licensed physician and not something that can be prayed away. Until you are able to get help and before you fall I highly recommend you take a seat in a quiet place, put a blanket over your head and leave the rest of us alone.

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